DC Green Yarns - Children's Author Site

Welcome to the crazy world of children's author and gonzo surf journalist, DC Green. Relax. There's heaps to do. Cackle at sample chapters from DC's latest laugh-loaded Erasmus James adventure. Drop a comment (but no cussing). Explore the mega links of things to do. Visit other writers. Check out DC's World Surf Media Guide. Or better still... order a book or seven!

06 July 2017

The DC Green School Show: 2018 Dates. NEW!

The DC Green School Show: 2018 Dates. NEW!

2018 Touring Schedule

Eight-plus weeks, four states, and one hard-travelling author. Book now, schools!

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07 August 2015

The DC Green School Show: Teacher Reviews

The DC Green School Show: Teacher Reviews

‘WOW! What a visit! DC was entertaining as well as educational. From the moment he started rapping he had the students captivated. He intertwined funny stories with brilliant writing tips that left the kids hanging to pick up a pen and start writing. Thanks for the great show!’
- The 5/6 Team, Bannockburn Primary School, Vic.

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30 September 2013



Welcome to Monster School. Hope you survive your first class!

To celebrate the publication of my new novel, Monster School, I’ll be touring some wonderful author and writing blogs.

There will be tonnes of insights into the writing process with topics ranging from world building to creating monstrous characters. I’ll happily answer any posted questions (such as, ‘What’s it like sitting at the desk next to a giant spider called Bruce?’). And yes, there will be laughter – and giveaways!

Below are the Monster Blog Tour dates and destinations, plus handy links for buying Monster School in kindle or paperback format.
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24 September 2013

Welcome to the City of Monsters!

Welcome to the City of Monsters!

I’m stoked to announce the publication of my new children’s novel: Monster School!

Even before publication, Monster School has received great reviews and won two awards. The book is fast, funny and a little bit frightening and has been described as ‘like Hogwarts for mummies, ogres, bunyips and dragons’.

For ages ten and up, Monster School is the first book of the City of Monster series.
Copies will be in Oz & NZ bookstores from October 1.
Online orders are available now!

I’ll be giving away free signed books to random fans who share this information, post reviews or even just like my book(s) on Goodreads. Yay!

Yes, I have links, so many links….

Ford Street - my publisher (for Monster orders): http://www.fordstreetpublishing.com

Amazon.com (for a kindle Monsters): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FDKBTVQ

Goodreads – for Monstrous reviews and discussions: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18584745-monster-school

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12 May 2012

The DC Green Grat Siege Blog Blitz Tour!

The DC Green Grat Siege Blog Blitz Tour!

Welcome to the first stop of the DC Green Grat Siege Blog Blitz Tour!
          Today’s topic: Blog Tour Mania!

Q: What on Earth is a blog tour?

DC: Short answer: it’s me touring a bunch of blogs!
Long answer: over the next week, I’ll be visiting some fantastic Aussie author blogs and answering questions about my latest children’s novel, Erasmus James and the Grat Siege. I’ll also be talking about writing, surfing, my guard cats and how Kelly Slater stole my haircut. Plus there will be plenty of bad jokes!
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21 February 2012

Eeek! (How to order DC's books)

Eeek! (How to order DC's books)

Oh, no! My publisher, Barrel Books, has apparently been hacked and will be out of operation for a few weeks. Therefore many links from this blog will sadly not be working. Great timing!

However, you can still order books directly from me. Yay! Book descriptions and ordering information follow...

All my books cost $15 except for Three Little Surfer Pigs which has been slashed to $10!
Buy more than one book and receive a free signed poster!!
Buy all three Erasmus James books for just $40 or all five of my books for a mere $60!!!

For the next month, all orders within Australia will include FREE postage and handling.
Simply mail a cheque or money order with your book order details to:
DC Green
PO Box 427
2539 NSW Australia


Three Little Surfer Pigs
A hilarious picture book of the classic fairy tale, featuring gorgeous art by Simon McLean. Ten per cent of all proceeds go to CanTeen Australia. $10.
‘Evilly entertaining.... The rhyme is great fun!’ – Sally Odgers.

Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine
Erasmus James zapps to a weird world where humans, ninja horses and mutant chooks live in peaceful harmony. At least they all did ... until Erasmus makes a deal that could lead to galactic war! $15.
‘An awesome read from the literary giant of surf journalism!’ - Australia 's Surfing Life.

Erasmus James, King of Kid’s Paradise
Erasmus James zapps to a tropical world where adults are banned, there are no rules and all the other kids want him to be their king! But what is the dark secret that lurks beneath Kid’s Paradise? $15.
‘Far out, funny and fabulous!’ - CoastKids magazine.

Erasmus James and the Grat Siege
Grats! Giant rats!! – surround my castle. My troops defend bravely. My mates - mutant chooks, ninja horses and grommets - are also out-numbered, starving and stinky. They turn to me for inspiration. To Erasmus James, the boy who doomed the universe! $15
‘Hilarious and action packed… an unforgettable book.’ – Kids’ Book Capers.

Stinky Squad
Oztrailer has mysteriously turned into a nation of brain-eating zombies. The only hope is five teens with revolting superpowers like acid vomit and super-sticky pimple pus: Stinky Squad! Ages: 10+.  
‘A very, very funny book.’ – HG Nelson, This Sporting Life.

All book prices are in Australian dollars.
Simply add $5 per book to your order to cover postage and handling.

Happy reading!

DC Green

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09 July 2011

All 3 Erasmus James books are OUT NOW!

All 3 Erasmus James books are OUT NOW!

Erasmus zapps to a weird world where humans, ninja horses and mutant chooks live in peaceful harmony.
At least they all did ... until Erasmus makes a deal that could lead to galactic war!

'Brilliant... A joyous comic funfare ride.' - Bill Condon.

Erasmus James,
King of Kid’s Paradise

Erasmus James zapps to a tropical world where adults are banned, there are no rules and all the other kids want him to be their king! 
But what is the dark secret that lurks beneath Kid’s Paradise

‘Far out, funny and fabulous!’ 
- CoastKids magazine.

Buy as a paperback or ebook at www.barrelbooks.com.

 Erasmus James and the Grat Siege

Grats! Giant rats!! – surround my castle.
My troops defend bravely. My mates - mutant chooks, ninja horses and grommets - are also out-numbered, starving and stinky. They turn to me for inspiration.
To Erasmus James, the boy who doomed the universe!

‘Hilarious and action packed… an unforgettable book.’  – Kids’ Book Capers.

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05 July 2011

Teacher Notes & Children's Activities - for all five DC books!

Teacher Notes & Children's Activities - for all five DC books!

Three Little Surfer Pigs: Teacher Resources
Dozens of Multiple Intelligences & Bloom’s Taxonomy activities prepared by experienced teachers.

Stinky Squad: Student Activities

Over 30 stimulating and fun children's activities and exercises by teacher/writer Matt Porter.

Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine
Brand new activities to make students brains grow bigger while bringing a smile to their faces!

Erasmus James, King of Kid's Paradise
More fantastic student exercises from Matt Porter.

Erasmus James and the Grat Siege
The third and final Erasmus book scores awesome activities to match!

Monster School
The latest, greatest bunch of student activities by MP!

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04 July 2011




Click 'Read More' to check out the covers and latest reviews!

Book One!

STINKY SQUAD is about a country called Oztrailer where everyone turns into brain-eating zombies. The nation's only hope is a bunch of loser teens with gross super-powers... Stinky Squad!

Stinky Squad is gross, funny, scary and ultra-fast paced: perfect for readers with strong stomachs aged between 10 and 110.

‘Fantastic… a very exiting read for kids and a very, very funny book.’ – HG Nelson.

‘Stinky Squad is the best Australian children’s book. Ever.’
– Stab magazine.

‘One hell of a ride... A fart-fest with a surprisingly warm heart. Stench is an INSPIRED character.’
- Sally Odgers, children’s author.

‘Never have bodily fluids been described with such gusto. Harry Potter meets Shaun of the Dead.’
- Waves magazine.

'Stinky Squad will have people involuntarily twitching and retching, clenching buttock muscles and wincing. Brilliant!'
- Jensen Ruehle, Bookmark Australia.

‘DC Green has keyed into what children love to read. This is a best seller... truly truly truly truly great!’
- Carol Roach, Storytime Tapestry.

‘DC Green will be the Hans Christian Anderson of a whole new generation.’
- Jodi Flessberg Lily, Creative Writers Network moderator.

‘This is the novel equivalent of a manga comic, a classic super hero tale on a global scale – albeit with a freaky twist. It’s fast and furious and VERY funny.’
- Sandy Fussell, children’s author.

‘My son swallowed Stinky Squad down, belched and asked for more! He could be heard chuckling and occasionally laughing which is no small feat as he has his teeth fitted with the most excruciating braces. The only time he has not moaned at me about the "pain" has been when he was reading DC’s book or sipping one of my special protein shakes. He didn't put it down once until it was all gone and I don't mean the shakes. ‘
- Maria Stepek Doherty, Storytime Tapestry Senior Writer.

‘A slimy, festering send-up of the modern world. Great fun, and perfect for kids.’
- Tracks magazine.

Check out the official Stinky blog for the latest updates at: http://dcgreen.wordpress.com/

Book Two!


I performed an early version of this story at many of the 100+ schools I visited in 2006. The reaction to the three naughty pigs was so fantastic, it was obvious they were destined to score their own book.

And now they have: a brilliant picture book chocked with laughs, surfing action, surprises and amazing artwork by the mega-talented Simon McLean.

Three Little Surfer Pigs is the perfect book for all the family, covering ages 4 to 154, and above average pets.

10 % OF ALL SALES GO TO CANTEEN - the Australian organisation supporting young people living with cancer!

‘A hilarious retelling of the classic fairytale.’
- AEU News.

‘Evilly entertaining.... The rhyme is great fun!’
– Sally Odgers, Jack Russell, Dog Detective.

‘A funny and enjoyable read.’
- Kid Zone.

‘I loved the hidden jokes and all the surfy lingo!’
- Jackie Hosking, PIO reviewer.

‘Funny, full of surf action, and with a great female surfing character, this is the sort of book I would have loved to have read when I was a grommet!’
- Pam Burridge, Australia’s first women’s world surfing champion.

Both books are published by my fantastic publisher, Barrel Books:

Barrel Books Shop:

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The DC Green School Show: Student Reviews

The DC Green School Show: Student Reviews

‘DC Green is my favourite author now, on the same level as JK Rowling. His books are funny and interesting. I didn't think about writing before, but I will now.’
- Mitchell, Year 5, Orana Heights Primary.

‘I thought that Mr. Green's talk was inspiring. I found his tips helpful and encouraging. I also am now very interested in reading his books, especially "Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine".’
- Sasha, Year 8, Canberra Girls Grammar.

‘Hi DC, I just want to say how I love your books and maybe could pass as your number one fan. So far I’m up to chapter 12 in Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine. It’s soooo adventurous and exciting.
Thanks DC Green AKA Funny Guy.’
- Will #1, Year 6, St Raphael’s, Cowra.

‘After DC Green introduced himself, nearly everyone was laughing. He told us some stories about himself and how he had gotten the ideas for his books. It was good that he gave us some tips to be a successful writer.’
- Angela, Challa Gardens PS, SA.

‘On Thursday 5th of October children's author DC Green came to our school. He read some of his book called Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine. Everyone enjoyed the show. He shared his rap and songs with us. DC Green gave us some tips on how to write a good story. He kept us laughing the whole way through his show. The audience made a story with him. It was called Emily the Duck.’
- Show review by Nathan, Joshua, Bradley, Brodie & Kade.
H-2, Claremont PS, TAS.

‘DC Green's author visit was fantastic because he told amusing jokes, stories and poems to the Yr 3-6 classes. Don't worry if you missed out on a book, you may borrow a copy from the Library soon!!!!!’
- Children's review in the Vincentia Public School News.

‘I learned a lot about writing from this experience. It was great to talk with a real author and get pointers to improve our writing.’ - Lauren, Year Eight, Holy Spirit College, Bellambi.

‘Andy Griffiths was my favourite writer. But after seeing DC Green's show, Andy's gone back to number two.’
- Year Five student, Sussex Inlet Public School.

Comments from students at St John Bosco School, SA:
Here’s what we thought!
“Gross but awesome” – TINA
“The greatest books I’ve ever heard of” – FRANCESCO
“They’re really wacky and fun” – MARIO
“Sounds really fun but it’s also cool” – EBONY
“The funniest books alive” - THEO

Comment from the Tweed Heads PS newsletter:
‘DC Green had the best writing tips for young authors. It is the best show around.’
- Chris, 4/3M

Comments posted on the blog for Bannockburn Primary School, Vic. (years 5 & 6):
Wow, what a fantastic visit we had from DC Green! He was very entertaining with his surfing tales and rapping skills. I especially liked the Australian Idol story. What did you think of the visit?

1. # 1 sva0001banno Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
We had D.C Green come to our school to tell us about how to be a good writer and how he thought of a title for one of his books. D.C Green likes surfing and has left us a prize for the best story in our grade about a time machine that takes you to a different world.

2. # 2 Ezza! Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
I liked how DC kept putting in funny jokes and sharing his song that he sang in the Australian Idol car park!LOL!

3. # 3 Kristina Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I really enjoyed DC Greens visit. He was really funny. His rap was really funny. I liked it. It was awesome.

4. # 4 hat0003banno Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
DC Green was a very funny guy with a funny voice.

5. # 5 mit0004banno Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
WOW!!!!!He was so cool. He was a great speaker and fun to listen to. He has a great 10 year old boy voice. He was so cool.

6. # 6 men0001banno Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Dc greens visit was great. He was really funny and a great rapper.
I enjoyed listening to his writing tips.

7. # 7 han0004banno Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
DC Green came to our school 22-7. DC Green was really funny with jokes, he gave us good writing tips and read a bit of his books. At the end of the visit we were allowed to by his books. Erasmus James and the Galactic Zap Machine is a really funny and good book.

8. # 8 you0002banno Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
I love the wrap! I learnt a lot and want to be an author too!

9. # 9 mck0009bann Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
DC Green is an inspiring person. I am going to make my stories more interesting.

10. # 10 sch0003banno Says:
July 29th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
DC Green gave me a great idea for my next story.

11. # 11 DC Green Says:
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Hey guys
Thanks for the great comments and the fantastic feedback to my yet-to-be-published book, City of Monsters! I had a blast at Bannockburn PS and hope to return one day!
Happy writing

12. # 12 toz0001banno Says:
August 5th, 2009 at 12:52 am
DC Green was really funny and his jokes were really funny.

13. # 13 wil0001banno Says:
August 5th, 2009 at 1:12 am
DC green visited and he was funny and cool. I hope that he visits again!

14. # 14 wen0001banno Says:
August 6th, 2009 at 12:54 am
D.C I wish I could as good writer as you!!!!!!

15. # 15 fie0001bann Says:
August 6th, 2009 at 12:54 am
DC green is so funny and he had crazy jokes

16. # 16 Ezza! Says:
August 20th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Yo everyone,
It’s me… yes Ezza! DC has a little to work on like his singing. It was very, very, very funny but he needs to train so his voice doesn’t break like someone’s arm! Just joking! He is very funny. Keep up the good work DC!

17. # 17 rob0005 Says:
August 29th, 2009 at 12:47 am
DC green was so much fun instead of being bored and thinking about how sore our bums were he was making as laugh and having fun. P.S great wrap DC!:)

18. # 18 cop0001banno Says:
September 8th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
DC green is a very funny person I hope he comes back

Here are some ’09 comments posted elsewhere on this site:

Hello DC Green,
We read "Three Little Surfer Pigs" and thought it was very funny. We like your type of humour and look forward to seeing you on Thursday.
Junior Gold, Coolangatta State School.

hi DC,
you came to my school that is parkwood ps on 19.08.09 I was the one that asked you what was your latest book I was in year 4 you were so funny. -athira-
hey dc wat is ur real name i need 2 no so i can wina contest plz plz
from james

hi dc green my name is kathleen from cloverdale p.s and i thought your show was fantastic. I think that your books are fun and fantastic and I would like to say thanks for coming. I enjoyed having you here, you were hilarious. I would love to have all of them except Stinky Squad, I think that's for boys. By the way I am in Year 5. Thanks for coming D C Green

dc green your show was amazingly awesome. there were some funny part and some wart bubbling parts.
I am going to borrow your book stinky squad of my friend and i hope i can get 1 of you own book signed for my self it look super gross and funny. i loved your show please come again:)
from jack

hi dc green i really enjoyed your show i hope that the older kids liked your show .it was really wart bubbling . you really have a good imagination and highly hilarious jokes hope you keep writing.

Hi, I'm William and I’m the one that beat bow for you. I ride scooter. Any way where do you live? I like your books, they are gross and awesome.

Hi my name is Chandice,thank you for coming to Cloverdale P.S because you inspired me that anyone can write anytime they want. Your performance was wart bubbling and mental and I learnt that I could make up a story anytime and anywhere
Thank you for coming we all had fun and enjoyed

hey DC green you may not remember me but my names Azurah from Cloverdale p.s . look i would just like to say thanks for coming in and talking to us . You are an awesome an outstanding mouthwatering author you were truly hilariously horrifying. You inspire me even though i want to be a singer i think you put so much creativity into your work that im absolutely MENTAL you’ve taught me so much like not to make the person die on the first page .i am so grateful
thankyou so much bye

Hi DC Green,
my name is Kriya.Thanks for coming to Cloverdale Primary School.Your show was so inspiring to me and most likely other kids as well.i learnt that you can take ideas from what you know and combine them.On the first page of your story you need to pull in the readers so that they will want to read more and more until your head explodes!By the way YOU'RE THE COOLEST AUTHOR I'VE EVER MET!!I hope your dream of being called up by a movie director comes true! THANKS AGAIN!

Hi DC Green
My name is Beltesha.As a student my interest of writing cool and adventurous, dangerous stories has become more exciting when you came and told your hilarious and funny stories. I had a great time listening to your stories. Your stories are full of imagination. You are a very funny author. think you are a very great author I learnt a lot of things at the show that i did not know about. I wish you would come back to this school with a lot of more written books. Iam really excited. Hope you become a famous author. you have a cool rap.
I ricate you coming to my school. From Belts.
I hope you come back see you sometimes.

Dear D.C green im kyle from cloverdale primary school i loved your wart bubbling awesome imaginative adventurous and hiliariously,funny,show P.S i like your books i would like to se some more books

to dc thanks for coming to clover dale p.s. we all enjoy your rap dance and your stories . it was very cool. can you come back to cloverdale? some people said it was boring but i didn’t. I thought it was fantastic and funny
by Joshua Thompson

heyy DC I’m writing to thank you for your fun, fantastic, exciting, wart bubbling, awesome, imaginative, adventurous, funny, cool, mental, crazy, psycho, and hilariously horrifying show. I thought it was a snot bag full of adventure. It was a great experience to listen to a real author at my school, and I will be sure to use your great writing tips. Thank you so much
cloverdale primary school.

Subject: Cloverdale primary school Wart bubbling awesome performance.
Yo DC thanks for the wart bubbling gross awesome performance. I hope you can come back next year ROCK ON.

Hi DC Green, performance was Awesome it was hilariously wart bubbling and imaginative. I like the way you get ingredients from people and make a wicked story.

I learnt that to make a good story you need some sort of conflict, an interesting start, exciting words and stuff you already know.
from Jesse
cloverdale P.S.

Hi DC, my name is Isaac and I liked, I mean LOVED your talk which you did on the 17th of August at Cloverdale Primary School. I liked the first page of the Stinky Squad. I also liked that you talk about nude bungy jumping and dobby and the machine gun I learnt from you that you need an exciting start, conflict, powerful words, have fun and don't kill your characters at the beginning.

Hi DC! my name is Jeremy, my nickname is Jem and I loved loved your show (Monday 17).You taught me NOT to bungy jump in the nude! Liked your rap too.
From Jeremy
Cloverdale P.S
ps don't kick serbrus (or Buffhead.)

To DC Green,
I liked your books, your fiction/ non fiction stories. Your songs were great and I like the killing off people.
I thankyou for the things that we leant to make great stories. I hope that you can come again to teach us more. I like your show and can’t wait to read your books

Year 7 Wellington High School Comments:

“I had a great time up in the library with DC Green and I hope he gets to visit next year. He is a great story writer and I can’t wait to read his books.” – Ashley T

“DC’s visit to Wello was very interesting ‘cause one minute he was reading from a book and I reckon it’s going to be a good book. I loved it!” – Kaydee L

“Thank you for visiting our school DC Green. We enjoyed your presentation and we hope to see you again.” – Dylan B

“I loved some of his jokes, funny man, hope he visits again.” – Robert M

“I loved the visit, it was so funny and he had a good sense of humour. He gave us a lot of ideas about writing a good funny story. Good job DC Green.” – Summah R

“Pretty mad, he has a great imagination and is very easy to get along with. He also is a great writer, I love reading his books.” – Brooke F

“DC Green you are a bit funny. I don’t really like reading books but I will probably read one of yours because they look really funny and fun.” – Katora T

“DC Green is pretty cool and he is an alright book writer and might be able to write some good books.” – Andrew C

“It was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing. I didn’t forget to wash my hat. You are very smart, I couldn’t make a rap like you. Thank you for the laughter DC Green.” – Nathan S

“I liked your book that you read to us, it was funny and you made it sound like it was real! I also liked your rap, it was cool!” – Naomi T

“I thought that DC Green was very interesting and entertaining. I had lots of fun and laughed a lot.” – Georgia C

“The visit was a great experience and I’m glad you could come.” – Samantha H

“Hey! That was a good show and I liked your book Stinky Squad. I might even buy one.” – Trent M

“I like your picture book and your rap.” – Lincoln M

“You were great, really funny and I hope you will come to visit again.” - Abby G

“Dear Mr DC Green, I liked your rap and your books, your show was great…” - Sarah B

“You were awesome DC Green… I liked your rap as well. Your show was great.” – Karly M

“I liked DC Green because he was very funny and I enjoyed his rap.” - Maddison S

“I really enjoyed DC Green’s performance. It was quite funny and humorous.” – Katie C

“Hey! You’re very outgoing and have no shame. I think that’s great! Hope to meet you again.” – Harrison G

“Having DC Green come and talk to us was really great. He showed us that writing can be fun. I can’t wait to read some of his books.” – George M

Year 8 Wellington High School Comments:

“The visit from DC Green was really good. He was funny, he also kept most of us interested in what he was saying to us all the time. He was very entertaining and read a little bit of his new book to us, it was also quite interesting.” – Chrystale J

“The visit from DC Green was very entertaining and had lots of laughter.” – Michalia G

“DC Green made his time he spent with us enjoyable and fun. I learnt a lot and hope he comes back.” – Kirsten Va

Comment by Mark Dwyer – Macquarie Regional Library Manager (Wellington Branch)
“I thought his performance was amusing and he got the attention of the audience. The books have a ‘gross’ element that appeals to teens. Audience participation is an important part when dealing with this age group and he succeeded quite well.”

Reviews from St Matthews Central School, Mudgee:

Thanks for coming to St Matthews. I know that I had fun and I think that everyone's heads exploded from laughing so much. I've got a friend who said “I think this book is kool." I have just started to read it and it is great for me because it is so funny .
- Peter Y7

Dear DC,
We'd like to thank you for coming to our school. We enjoyed listening to your advice about writing and your great sense of humour. The books you wrote sound very interesting and we will use all of your techniques and will never liquid paper our computer screens.
We'd also like to thank you for the small group work we had. I personally thought it was great. You gave me ideas and advice about how to come up with funny stories.
I can tell you now, I did. We hope you write more funny and fantastic stories so we can further explore the humorous worlds of your characters. Thanks again for everything, the advice, the tips & the jokes.
- Monique Y7

Dear DC,
Thank you so much for visiting St Matthews Central School in Mudgee. Many children were mind-boggled by your creative children's novels, ‘Erasmus...' and ' your new one 'Stinky Squad'. My brother Sam and I have ordered 1 of each so I hope to read them soon for my MS Read-a-thon. I'd also like to thank you for listening to my story as I was one of the selected few who stayed behind. I really enjoyed learning about you and I will make sure I use some of your techniques you taught me when next I pick up a pen. I hope to read some of your books in the future. Anyway, I had better go and tune into my English class.
- Skye Y7.

Hi DC!
I’m the girl in the second row asking all the questions and my name is Jess. I’d first of all like to say I really liked you coming to our school.
I must admit that when Mrs Dean said that an author was coming to our school I was a little disinterested. Mostly because lots of authors are sooooo boring! I really only like authors that don't go on forever about things like Roald Dahl and Morris Gleitzman ( My Favourites, ) but when I first saw you I knew you weren't going to be boring.
Anyway, enough about me, lets get on about your talk.
Your talk was really interesting! I’m not planning to be a full time author but I’m thinking about writing a book or two so it was really helpful. The only thing is you'd need to make some adjustments to your song and then you might be able to try out for Idol again without Marsha hitting you over the head with a broom!
One thing I really want to commend you on is your question and answer sections. The good thing about them was you answered questions truthfully and ‘sensibly’.
I just have one more thing to say. Good luck in writing more books!!!
P.S. I will definitely be entering that competition on your web site.

Canberra Girls Grammar School Year 7 Comments

- I found the talk very interesting and I got some useful writing tips that could help me write a story. DC also left time for questions, so we could ask about him, and where he gets inspiration. Overall, it was great!

- I thought it was really funny and entertaining. I thought the writing tips were really good and I think they might help me. I think DC really connected to us as kids and I look forward to reading his books.

- I think that the talk thing that we did with that author was really good, because it got me going and writing my own little book. I think that his books are the type my brother and his friends would read, and then I would read them

- I thought that he was a HEAP of fun. And I do find those writing tips useful.

- An excellent session! DC Green is a very entertaining author. My friends and I learned something new today; we are hoping to see more authors in future like him.

- I found DC Green really funny, and yes he did give some great writing tips.

- It was good especially for those of us that like writing.

- I found the writing tips very useful… I really enjoyed it.

- I thought that DC Green was absolutely funny!!!

Reviews from Stanwell Park Public School:

‘Hi DC, it's good that you have the same humour as me. You rule!’ - Liam.

‘That was like totally awesome man. From that inspiration I wrote a five page story.’ - Angus.

‘Hi DC, you have inspired me a lot and now I think I write much more cooler stories. Surf on.’ - Bensan.

‘The book is just the best. After the first words I got so involved, I just had to stop what I was doing!! YOU RULE!!’ - Katherina.

‘You are the world's best rapper DC and your books rule. You have inspired our whole school, especially year six. I hope to get your book. Keep on surfing DC.’ - Baden.

‘Hi DC Green. You're really funny.’ - Courtenay.

‘You are super COOL.’ - Harry.

‘Dear Dc Green, thank you for coming to our school. We all enjoyed it. - Selina.

‘Hi DC. Thanks for coming. It was great.’ - Hannah.

‘Dear DC Green, thank you for coming to our school because you have given us lots of inspiration.’ - Emily.

‘Hi DC Green, nice haircut!’

‘DC, you are so funny! I love your books and your funniness. You're awesome.’ - Hamish.

‘DC Green, you were very entertaining, you inspired us all to make our own books. Thank you we all enjoyed having you!!’ - Cordy.

‘Hey Dc dude, your show was great keep writing and be cool!’ - Thilo.

‘Dear DC, I love your book, it's funny and exiting. When you came you cracked everyone up. You have a good rap.’ - Ryan.

‘Hey DC, love your book and your jokes. Love to see you soon.’ - Joe.

‘DC. I love your book and when you came we all cracked up. I hope your next book is just as good as this one. Come back soon.’ - Sophie.

‘Hey DC, I really like your jokes. You are also really funny. I like how you wrote your book, it's really funny. I think it's the best book ever.’ - Kalani.

‘Hey DC Green I love your book.’ - Olivia.

‘Hi DC Green, I loved it when you came to our school. I love to read now. I hope you come to our school soon with you next book.’ - Melanie.

Canberra Girls Grammar School Year 8 Comments

- He was very entertaining. The writing tips are really good!

- Talk was excellent today! Very entertaining... he did a great job! Very helpful tips!

- I really enjoyed the talk we had from DC Green as he gave lots of helpful writing tips we can use. It was also good as he has had experience of being a writer and could tell us what it is like to be an author and what it takes to become one. He was also funny and by creating the story with our year group, it showed us how little ideas however strange or abnormal they are can turn into the basis of a story. I thoroughly enjoyed his talk and was wondering how much one of DC Green's signed books would cost.

- I found the speaker's speech quite fascinating and I learnt something from it. I liked it.

- I thought that the author speech today was quite beneficial. I thought his manner was good and he brought forward quite a few decent points and helpful writing tips.

- I found the guest speaker very funny and also inspirational as I would like to write a book some time and his tips on never giving up and writing a bit each day were helpful. It's always fun to listen to authors talk about their experiences so if anybody else offers, please say yes!

Posted to this site:

‘DC Green, you came to my school (Berkeley). Your performance was so funny, I had to borrow your book. I read the whole story over two school nights, for me that's like a world record! 240 pages! Mum almost dropped dead with shock. Then she read your book and laughed more than me!’
- Con.

‘Hi DC green. You went to the school called St. Thomas the Apostle on the 4th of July 2006. Your show was so fuunnnyy. The best part about it was your story. I would like to be a famous writer when I grow up... Andy Griffiths was my favourite writer before I saw you.’
- Nicho.

‘You came to my school and were the funniest ever. I bought your book and loved it. We are still doing your crazy dance. Hurry up and write the next book.’
- Adam.

‘I bought this book for my son's friend's birthday. He said it was the funniest book he had ever read and now my book-hating son is reading and laughing it also. A miracle!’
- John Giles, Newcastle.

‘My name is Danial you went to my school today called St Thomas the Apostle and year 3 and 4 went with you first then year 5 and 6. I really want one of your books. I have made a book on the computer.’

‘When does the next book in the Erasmus series come out? I can't wait! Your stories are very addictive!’
- John.

‘Hi DC, my name is Isabel. I go to St. Thomas the Apostle. You are really funny and I enjoyed your book. Where would you find that book! My favourite writer was Andy Griffiths until I met you. I hope you keep writing. ttfn.’
- Isabel.

‘Hi DC green :) u came to my school, St Therese west Wollongong. I really liked your song that u sang to us. You encouraged me to start writing stories. Thank you!’
- Annabell.

‘Hi dc thanks for coming to Latrobe high u were very funny and I think I might get your book!’

‘Hi DC, You came to our school on the 5th of September. You were great!’
- Sonia

‘Hey DC you came to my school today and I really enjoyed and thought you were great. I hope you come again DC. Good on your next book! BYE AND WISHING YOU THE BEST LUCK.’
- Kurt

‘Hey DC
Just two weeks ago you visited Orana Heights the second time.
When you came the first time I bought Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine, well I've finished reading that now and have started reading Stinky Squad which I bought the second time you came to our school and I think Stinky Squad is the most disgusting, vile, foul and funniest book that I've ever read.
If you come back to Orana Heights next year I won't be able to buy your book because I'll be in high school which is very disappointing.
Yours sincerely.’
- Nathaniel

‘Hey DC, Remember last time that you went to dubbo west public school? I was there. You made me laugh.’

‘Helloooo DC GRREEEN,
I thought that you were really cool and funny.
PS: I hope you become famous.’
- anonymous

‘When DC went to SJP (St Johns Primary) I absolutely loved him. He was so funny. A big thank you to our librarian and of course DC for coming.’
- Sam.


‘Hi DC. Thanks for coming to my school (Figtree Heights Public School). Good luck with writing your new book Stinky Squad. Thanks Ty. P.S. I’m the kid who liked talking toilets.’

‘Raz is so funny!
I love the roccors, the krazy king, the bloodhorses and everything!!
***** (That means five stars)’
- Raz Fan Number 1, Adelaide.

‘Hey I thought that you are really funny and that your book is really good.
Anyways... you inspired me to do something I have been thinking about doing, but never actually bothered to do... writing my own book. I called it "Mystic Chance"... it wont ever be on book shelves, but it will always be on my computer... and I will always remember that I wrote it.’

‘Hi Dc Green My name is Tara I love your books all of them I wonder how u do it can u come over I want your autograph.’
- Tara

‘Dear DC Green,
You came to my school and you made the whole school laugh sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many times. I am reading Erasmus James and it ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for coming to my school.’
- Daniel (Your No. 1 Fan!!!!)

‘Your book is so funny. I love reading Erasmus James and the Galactic zapp Machine. I hope you can come back to Shellharbour public school again I have now got 2 copies of your books that you have signed. They’re great!!!!!!’
- Matt.

‘Hi DC Green you came to our school yesterday, Canberra Girls Grammar school. I am looking forward to reading your books I love writing stories too (fiction).’
- Reeva.

Year 3 comments about DC Green’s visit to St Patrick’s school (Port Kembla) on Thursday 24 August, 2006:

* I think you did very well. I remember when you did that really cool dance. My favourite thing was that knee thing. A really good idea for your next book be a penguarna which is a cross between a penguin and an iguana. They all have a spud gun. Their enemy is a bush snail. From Mitchell.

* I think you have a good sense of humour and you are funny. I like how you can transform boring stories into amusing things. Kids love that. I like how you let us make up the ending. Your cats have good names. You can rap and dance good. You have made the halfway mark for JK Rowling. If you go on Australian Idol take a broom for a weapon for when Kyle stirs you up. Keep up the good work (written around a drawing of a hand with a thumb up). From Byron.

* DC green came to our school. The 1st thing he was he danced and sang for us. He danced funny. He told us about the first book he wrote. He did silly things and said silly things. He told us a story about the toaster. He said a funny poem. At the end he danced and sang. It was so funny. By Melanie.

* I thought DC Green was funny and he is a great dancer and rapper. He has good words to explain things. He’s the man for the right job. I liked the story when he told us about how he made a sandwich. By Daniel.

* I thought that DC Green had lots of hair. I know how DC got his beanie his cat spat furballs at DC Green's head and when he took the beanie off this is what he said ‘Ow a beanie.’ By Jackson.

* He sang a song that was so funny. He has a lot of cats at his house he told stories to us he has to written one but he is working on a different book he likes to embrace himself to other people. I think he did a very good job. By Kodi.

* DC Green came to our school and he started with a dance. It was very funny. He told some stories and it was what he said about the putting the toast in the toaster that I liked the best. By Monique.

* Today DC Green came to my school. First he did a dance and singing. Then he did a boring story and then an exciting story about the three little pigs. Then he did a rap and told us about how he nearly drowned in the water. Then he gave autographs, I like D.C Green. By Andrew.

* On Thursday the 24th DC Green came to our school. He is so funny. First he did a dance. He was funny I laughed my head off. Then he talked about three surfing pigs I liked it so much. You are the best. From Andrea.

* He was so funny I liked his rap and his story. He made me laugh the whole time His actions were very good. He was a very good singer. He should go to Australian Idol.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Hair who?
Get a hair cut. From Kari.

* He was funny and he did a rap. He did it well, he was good and I liked his stories. He did a boring story. I liked him cooking a book. From Brandon.

* I thought DC Green was funny and the first thing that he done was a song and he danced with the song too. At the end he did a rap. By Natasha.

* I thought DC Green’s stories were funny and gross. The words explain things that he writes. First he did a silly song and dance last he did a rap dance. By Zoey.

Ashfield Boys High comments:

Dear DC Green,
It was great you come and entertain us and tell us about your books. It was funny to hear you sing your song at the beginning and your rap at the end. Thank you for reading part of your book to us and telling us about the common factors of your writing.
Yours truly, George V and Mike I

DC Green presented a talk on writing tips and advices and told us some jokes. The advice he gave were helpful and his jokes were not bad because they were silly but funny.
He expressed himself really well and did crazy things just to make us laugh and I liked all of it. In my point of view, for a not-so-famous author, he sure is one of my favourite people.
Andrew W

I'd read "Stinky Squad" because he made it sound so interesting and gross. Which is what I like in books. The thing I liked most was when he told us that story as a journalist for surf magazines.
WOW! A near death experience. That would be pretty cool.
Thanh D

It was amusing on how he had changed his voice to act the scene, it was very interesting on how he uses his imagination on writing books. If he comes back, which I want him to,
I would like his laughter and amusement to be there.
Johnson C.

Year 4 comments about DC Green’s visit to St Patrick’s School (Port Kembla) on Thursday 24 August:

* I liked your presentation. It was so funny and it was brilliant and sooo good. From Orlando.

* You are very humorous and you are very good at rap. You are also very good at singing. Thank you for dancing, you were great at it. From Ellen.

* Thank you for coming to our school. I liked your dancing and your jokes. When I get a chance I will buy your book. Thank you for making my day fantastic and fun. From Courtney.

* Last week I really liked how you did your rap and how you expressed what you needed to say and you weren’t shy at all. You were sooooooo funny, it really made me cry. By the way you are soo lucky to have written that book because it sounds EXCELLENT! Thanks so much for coming to our school. From Drew.

* I loved when you sang and rapped. I couldn’t stop laughing. I laughed my head off. Thanks for coming to our school. From Milka.

* To DC Green. That rap was crap but you were really funny. From Keiran (he asked if it was OK to write that. I said yes as he never really cares about anything associated with school. He was genuinely interested this time. Kathy Hall, teacher).

* Hey! DC, I loved your visit. My cheeks hurt because I laughed so much. I haven’t started reading The Galactic Zapp Machine, but I’m really excited. I hope you are able to read my book! By Tristan (Tristan is in Y4 and is reading ‘Tomorrow when the War Began’ and wants to finish it before starting your book.).

* Hey DC Green you are really cool and I like your rap and you tell very good stories and your book is very mad. From James.

* I loved your rap and dancing. You’re so funny. How do you come up with so many funny things to say? I can’t believe you weren’t embarrassed to sing and dance in front of all the school. You’re a brave man. The story about Shannon Knoll was so funny. I’ve started reading your book. By Lisa.

* When DC Green came to our school I was having fun and enjoying myself. You are my favourite person who came to our school. You are a very funny writer. From Lindsay.

Year 5 comments, St Patrick’s School, Port Kembla:

* Hi we really liked your singing, dancing rap.

* Try Australian Idol even if Marcia chases you don’t worry about her.

* Think of more jokes next time you come.

* We’re still reading your book but we think it’s mad.

* Go to Shannaye’s and Melanie’s hip hop because you need the training.

* Your website was really cool and was heaps funny. I loved the cats.

* We really liked your writing tips.

* We really liked your visit and come back soon.

- Love from your 4 favourite fans Shayz, Nick, Alex and Mel.

Reviews from Lindsay Park Primary School:

‘I've already read your book. I had a lot of laughs and I nearly got a paper cut from turning the pages, also I nearly burst a lung from laughing. I think you were extremely funny and entertaining.’ - Hau.

‘Hey DC Green, you made us all crack up. You were great. Come back soon.’ - Kayla.

‘I thought your appearance was good and funny. Especially the pictures you drew on the whiteboard.’ - Mitchell.

‘ Hey, DC you were really funny, especially your songs and jokes. Please write more books. There were no bad points about you. You were great! Keep it up!’ - Felicina.

‘Your books sounded really cool. You had cool stories to tell.’

‘Dear DC, I reckon you were awesome and really funny, especially the spuds thing. Also, there was the toast thing. That was funny too. Everything you said about story writing helped me begin writing weird and wacky short stories and hopefully I will start a novel soon. Thanks for coming DC and keep up the good work.’

‘Hey DC, I think it was a very well planed and amusing performance. I especially liked the jokes. I think it was a great way to spend your time and continue doing it. PS cool beanie’

‘DC Green, it was really really really really x 1,000,000,000 funny.’

‘Very funny. The toaster joke was very funny.’

‘I enjoyed the visit because your stories and style of writing was interesting.’

‘I used to think authors were boring. You proved me wrong. Your jokes were great/awesome.’

‘To DC, I reckon that you visit was the best ever as it wasn't boring and serious. I especially liked your story about drowning and your hand actions. You even laughed at that experience, which not many people could do.’ - Adriana.

‘Hey DC Green, your so funny. You made us all laugh with your rap. Please do come back.’ - Bria.

Student reviews from St Joseph's Catholic Primary School, Wagga Wagga:

‘Dear DC, I think that your visit was great, but you may need some singing lessons!!! I loved your jokes about all that funny and crazy stuff. Thanks for being GREAT!!!!!’ - Rebekah.

‘I think DC is a great kid’s author. He is very funny and tells great stories. I loved the ones about his cats.’ - Sam.

‘My favourite part about DC's visit was how we made up a story about a duck who flew to Antarctica and got lost.’ - Hayden.

‘I really liked the visit from DC Green. He was really funny and had some great jokes. His life before he was a children's author was also interesting. I really liked the story we made up about the duck.’ - Matthew.

Student response from Smithton Primary School, Tasmania:

‘He's really funny.’

‘He is a funny man.’

‘Everyone said he was funny but I thought he was funny too and I think his book would be good!!’

‘He made some good stories.’

‘He was great, funny, exciting and cool.’

‘He's totally groovy and funny!!!!’

Show reviews by students at Orana Heights Primary:

‘I think he was really funny, and I want to read more and more of his books now.’
- Hannah, Year 5.

‘I think DC Green is funny and a great author. He has a great sense of humour and imagination. I loved his goatee and his haircut. I loved his book, rap and his poem. I hope u come back!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘Dear DC Green, Julia and I (Jade) thought you were funny, cool and bald as in you have no hair, but that's what makes you funny. So keep on writing and we will keep on reading.’

Here's four from Year Seven at Shoalhaven High, provided by Ann Johnston, the teacher librarian:

‘DC's visit was very enjoyable because of his interesting stories of how he became a writer, what his life was like was before he started writing books, and how he comes up with his ideas for his book. I liked the way he read to us some of his short and funny stories - really entertaining. Interesting to hear how he is selling his books as well as through shops. I liked his easygoing humorous personality.’

‘I liked the way DC shared his thoughts with us about his writing, his life including mishaps such as the surfboard incident when he nearly drowned because it kept hitting him on his head - we all laughed. It's interesting to actually listen to and talk to a real live author.’

‘Perhaps DC is becoming more popular as an author because he seems to actually have a personality not just a person who sits and writes a lot.’

‘I went to hear this author and thought he might be a bit dull, but in fact he had an entertaining personality - I'll even read his book, so that's a surprise for me.’

Berkeley Primary School reviews:

‘We liked... that he was funny and talented; that he read part of his book and funny poems; hearing about Kelly Slater and his surfing stories because they were interesting; his singing and dancing; that he answered our questions; his crazy expressions and accents; his rap song; his good imagination; his artistic way of acting; his writing ideas, his retelling of real life experiences; his different voices; that he was crazy and cool; that we learnt a valuable lesson that no matter how long it takes to write a story, the end result is very worthwhile. Thanxalot.’
- Karen Ruzzene and 4VR.

Students from 5A:

‘Hi. I want to thank you for coming to our school. You were really funny and hairlous. I also liked your poems. Bye.’ - Sara.

‘DC was heaps mad. I reckon the funniest bit was when he tried to rap.’ - Mitch.

‘DC Green, I really liked your speech. I can't wait to read your book. I reckon you would make a great father. Thank you for coming to our school. You are really funny.’ - Rebekah.

‘DC Green, I really liked your performance, the introduction and the part where you and Josh read.’ - Natasha.

‘DC Green, I liked your poems that you read out. You put a lot of rhyming words which sounded really good.’ - Stephanie.

‘DC Green is a very funny man.’ - Tony.

‘I think everyone enjoyed the day and liked listening to other people's ideas and stories.’ - Sarah, Year Eight, Holy Spirit College.

‘The visit taught us all something new and I'm sure we will all apply these new skills we have been taught somewhere in the near future.’ - Zac, Year Eight, Holy Spirit College.

Reviews from Albury West Public School, Years Two and Three:

‘Hey DC Green. Your act was awesome.’ - Sebastiano.

‘Your show was great. I liked the three little pigs story and the one we made up.’ - James.

‘Your act was fantastic, you should be an actor on TV.’ - Tanisha.

‘When you came it was cool. PS you need to work on your rap.’ - Josh.

‘Hello DC, your talk was very interesting. I love the book that you wrote. It was very funny. Oh and when you came I liked your shirt.’ - Lisa.

‘Yoh! DC I think you are a cool man and very funny. I like the names of your cats.’ - Reuby.

‘Yo yo DC you did a very cool rap dude. When I see you next I think you're going to do an even better rap.’ - Alex.

‘Yoh!!! DC I like your story, it's great. I've been using my imagination on the weekend. You look really cool and funny.’ - Emma.

‘Hey DC, I really enjoyed your show. I enjoyed your book.’ - Macauley.

‘Hey DC Green, your act was great. How did you get your book so good?’ - Isaac.

‘Yoh!!! DC I love your stories. You are nice and funny.’ - Samuel.

‘I liked the show of DC Green. It was good, it was very funny. It was a funny show when you did that dance. I liked the duck story. That was very funny.’ - Douglas.

‘I thought that your show was so funny and extraordinary. Thank you for your talent.’ - Alhanna.

‘Yo yo DC, it was cool of you to come to my school. You are cool. PS cool book you wrote.’ - Josh.

‘I thought that I would not like the shows but I enjoyed it so very much. You are nice. I want your book so much because it is good.’ - Elyse.

‘DC, I like your book very much because it is wacky and funny. PS I hope you make lots more books.’ - Milla.

Reviews from Mater Dei Catholic Primary School (Wagga Wagga), Year 2:

‘The best thing I liked about DC Green was his rap because it was hilarious.’ - Ashleigh.

‘The best thing I liked about DC Green was he was very funny. DC Green was fantastic because he acted out parts of his story. He was COOL!’ - Jackson.

‘The best thing I liked about DC is that he did very funny dances and told great stories.’ - Tim.

‘The best thing I liked about DC Green was he was funny and confident.’ - Brendan.

‘I think DC used his imagination. I think DC Green's imagination is now a lot bigger than a pea.’ - Kate.

Student reviews in the Bothwell District School (Tasmania) Weekly Newsletter:

‘DC Green was VERY funny. Even the teachers laughed. He told us made up stories and he was asked some very funny questions.’ - Kimberley.

‘I liked DC Green because his funny rap was cool. I liked his voice. I want to read his new book. I wonder if he can come back because I like his jokes and I didn't get to ask him a question. My question is where is he from.’ - Harley.

‘I liked DC Green because he has funny jokes and is good with children.’ - Zak.

‘I thought it was very funny.’ - Josh.

‘DC Green was very funny and nice. His performance was funny.’ - Sophie.

‘He was very funny. I liked his song at the start. I also liked him when he made up some stories.’ - Will.

‘I liked the part where DC rapped and told some stuff about himself.’ - Brock.

‘I liked DC because he was funny and he is a good author.’ - Amanda.

‘I thought he was funny and he was a bit of a show off. But he is funny. - Tiffany.

‘I really enjoyed the DC Green visit. He is very eccentric and his songs are just plain crazy.’ Maddy.

‘DC Green came up to our school and made writing stories really fun and enjoyable. He made us come up with some ideas. It was very good and exciting to meet a book author. I had fun. He was really funny when he did some dance moves and everyone was laughing at him. I hope he can come up to our school and do it all over again.’ - Kate.

‘Today a really funny book author came to our school to tell us about his new book Erasmus James & the Zap Machine. His name was DC Green. Some people in the school guessed what DC stood for and won posters. He did a little song at the start and a rap at the end. I liked the rap because it was funny.’ - Annabelle.

Student reviews from the Corrimal East Public School Newsletter:

‘DC Green told a lot of jokes. He was very funny. He read us a story. He used to be a surfer. He did a dance. He likes to write stories. At the end he asked us some questions. We really enjoyed his visit.’ - 1M.

‘This show was one of the best author shows I've been to. It was funny and interesting throughout the show.’ - Jamie, Yr. 6.

‘He did funny impressions, rap songs, poems and read a chapter of his book and told funny stories.’ - Amy, Yr. 6

‘After DC Green sang a song, we talked about the book and Rowan pretended to be the Galactic Zapp Machine King with DC Green. It was funny!’ - Tess, Yr. 6.

Former Surfing Journalist Captures The Imagination Of Stellar Students

By Maddy, Queanbeyan High School.

‘DC Green lives on the south coast of NSW and is a happy-go-lucky guy who travels to schools in NSW to give interesting talks on writing novels and magazine articles.

‘As part of International Writers' Celebration, DC Green was invited to give a talk to Queanbeyan High School students. He spent an hour with the Year 7 and 8 Stellar classes and shared some poems and chapters from his book. He made things interesting with jokes and crazy raps.

‘His book, Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine, is a funny story including smelly ninja horses, mutant chicken lamps and a crazy king. D.C Green has managed to create a story that will have you laughing and amazed with word play. An interesting book packed with fun!

‘As a result of his visit students were inspired to use their imaginations and expand their vocabularies. We thank DC Green for his time and encouragement.’

And finally, some book reviews...

'Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine' is amusing and takes you on a whirlwind adventure of imagination. The reader is compelled to find out what will happen next. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys a fun read.’
Review by Chloe, 11, Canberra, Australia.

‘I love this book. It’s funny. It’s adventurous. It’s it’s it’s brilliant!’
- Beth S, 12 years old.

‘Don't miss this funniest adventure story of all time. My 14 year old son couldn't put DC Green's work down. He was lost as soon as he read the first paragraph. All I heard was peals of laughter interspersed with ‘Yeuch!’, ‘Gross’ and other teenage expressions of appreciation. Check it out.’ - Maria Doherty.

‘Amazing story. Looking forward to see what’s gonna happen in Uponia.’ - Fábio.

‘It's like Harry Potter, but with way funnier jokes.’
- Hayley T, 11 years old.

‘This chapter is tops and so is your whole book... Lots of laughs. Best of all are the surprises at the end. Blew my mind!! Hurry up with your next book!!! Exclamation marks!!!!’ - Jamie.

‘I love your book. It’s so funny and exciting. Every time I read it I can never put it down until I’ve finished it. I can't wait to read all your books to come.’ - Anon.

‘This hilarious book is amazingly creative!’
- Review from a Thirroul Public School student in the Illawarra Mercury.

Read more!

06 June 2011

DC Green's Top Ten FAQs!

DC Green's Top Ten FAQs!

I get stoked whenever I receive e-mail, letters or even blackmail notes from readers. It's especially fantastic when fans tell me they love my books!!

What I mostly get asked are FAQs = Frequently Asked Questions. Here are the best of those questions, along with the worst of my answers!

Question 1: What does the 'DC' in 'DC Green' stand for?

Answer: My daughter reckons, 'Dangerous Chef'...

Question 2: When did you start writing?

Answer: I've always loved writing. By the time I was ready to be born I'd completed my first three books. I would have written more, but I wasted most of the time looking around for somewhere to plug in my laptop. When the doctor smacked me on the backside, I squinted at him and went, 'Waaah!' Which of course meant, 'Ah, you must be my agent!'
Okay, I'll try and be a little more serious ;-)...

Question 3: What was your job before you wrote Erasmus James & the Galactic Zapp Machine?

Answer: Before I became a children's author, I worked as a surf journalist. That dream job combined my love of surfing, writing and travelling. I had thousands of articles and stories published in about 30 countries, travelled the world, met every world surfing champion, won a few awards (for my writing, not for my surfing)... and lost part of my bum cheek on a tropical reef.

Question 4: Where did you get the great ideas for EJ& the GZM?

Answer: My daughter and stepson wanted a story with lots of jokes, ninja horses, mutant chooks, space travel, a cracking story-line and some good scares. I mashed these elements up in my brain blender and read the results to a lot of kids. Whenever they wandered off to the nearest Playstation, I threw that section out. Whenever the kids rolled around laughing on the floor and begged for another chapter, I knew I was on the right track.

Question 5: Will you please visit my school?

Answer: I love doing school visits and have worked out an interactive show that is filled with laughter and surprises. Just get your teacher or librarian to contact me, and I'll do my best to visit your school on my next book tour!
If your country doesn't have my books, send letters to your leaders!

Question 6: Where do you live?

Answer: I grew up in a small town on the South Coast of NSW in Australia called Ulladulla. Though the town isn't so small anymore, I still live there, along with one slightly crazy daughter, three very crazy cats and a blue-tongue lizard.

Question 7: What's your best writing tip?

Answer: Read a lot and write every day, even if just a few words. Imagination can be the best fun park in the universe!

Question 8: What are your plans for the future?

Answer: I plan to write a lot more children's books and become a billionaire author like JK Rowling (ha ha). Unlike her, I will donate 90 % of my profits to charity. I'd also like to still be surfing at age 109, hopefully on a tropical zapp planet with sponge-lined reefs!

Question 9: Why did you become a children's author?

Answer: I read the famous Harry Potter books and discovered they all told the same story, were predictable, flabby in parts and lacked any rip-snorting jokes, especially of the fart variety. I figured I could do a better job and so began work on 'Erasmus James & the Galactic Zapp Machine.' What fun it is to create worlds and characters! Now I'm hooked and will be a children's author till the day I do my final fart!!

Question 10: How can I contact you?

Answer: You can send me an e-mail from my profile page or leave a comment after any article. You can also send me smoke signals, but the only reply I know how to make is, "Help! My kitchen is on fire!!"

Bonus Question: What's your next project?

Answer: Can you keep a secret? The book I'm working on now (my best ever) is called... Stinky Squad! Did somebody say zombies and gross superpowers?
And the next two Erasmus James books have even more laughs, adventure, new zapp worlds and revelations!

Until next time.

Happy writing, reading and laughing,

DC Green

Read more!

07 April 2011

The Stinky Squad Video!

The Stinky Squad Video!

The Stinky Squad advertisement, as seen on Nickelodeon...

Read more!

05 April 2011

Ian Irvine's Blog Tour

Ian Irvine's Blog Tour

I'm delighted to welcome Ian Irvine to DC Green Yarns, as part of his whirlwind blog tour. There is a great interview below with Ian, details of the rest of his tour, a bio and the covers of his wonderful 'Grim and Grimmer' series. Enjoy!

1) What was the spark - the original story idea - for Grim and Grimmer?

I’d never written humorous stories before. I thought, if I try this and it goes disastrously wrong, at least it’ll give my enemies a good laugh.

But seriously, I simply wanted to write humorous fantasy stories for younger readers, 9 or 10 and up. There are plenty of funny and clever books for this age group, and some of them are fantasy, but in most cases the humour is stronger than the plot. I wanted to write humorous stories that also had a strong and compelling plot, because that’s the kind of story I prefer to read.

2) How did you develop the original idea?

After about twenty-four hours of hard labour I came up with a great title, Grim and Grimmer, and every time I mentioned it, people smiled. See, you’re doing it now.

So I sat down, invented the silliest and most extravagant characters I could think of, then sketched out a fiendishly complicated plot where they only got out of one desperate trouble to plunge immediately into a worse one. And every time I thought, no one should ever suffer like this, I went har, har, yes they should, and thought of a hundred and three more ways to torment them, working on the principle that if the characters are having a good time, my readers aren’t.

Then I thought, this plot is exactly like all the other books I’ve ever written. So I took the plot apart, changed every scene to its opposite, then sat down to write it without further ado.  

3) What does a great main character need?

A pie in the face to bring him or her down to our level. And then, massive internal conflicts.

For instance, Ike has three conflicting objectives: to get back the Book of Grimmery, without which Grimmery will be overthrown; to clear his parents’ names, because they’re accused of betraying their country; and to help the boy, Pook, rescue the children that Emajicka has stolen for her Collection. In the middle of The Desperate Dwarf, I force Ike into a situation where he sees how terribly the Collected children are suffering, yet can do nothing to help them. We really empathise with him then; we desperately want him to succeed.

4) What makes readers want to follow the adventures of Ike, Pook and Mellie?

Ike begins as Useless Ike, a kid who can’t do anything right. He’s always going off half-cocked and making things worse, yet he’s also kind and well-meaning and never gives up, and readers long to see him do well.

Mellie (the apprentice thief, Melliflua di Sorrowgrove) is constantly trying to impress her father, the thief-lord, Titanio by pulling off one reckless theft after another, but she sometimes overestimates her abilities and gets into dire trouble. However she’s clever and quick-thinking, and a great friend to Ike.

Pook, a skinny waif, never stops boasting ,and tells the most outrageous lies to cover up the pain of his torment by the Fey Queen. Yet Pook is the bravest of them all. He has a burning need to save the Collected children, no matter the cost to himself, and even takes on a terrible night-gaunt in a doomed rescue attempt.

5) Tell us about the plans of the wicked Fey Queen, Emajicka.

Humans tricked the Fey out of the beautiful land of Grimmery three hundred years ago, and the Fey Queen, Emajicka, wants it back – no, she needs it back to ensure the survival of her own realm, Feyrie. The beautiful, silver-skinned Emajicka is a troubled woman, and she’s stealing the children of Grimmery for her Collection. Emajicka bathes in their nightmares to relieve her own, because whenever she looks in the mirror that cannot lie (a lie in itself) all she sees is the ruin of her beloved Feyrie.

And there is one nightmare she wants most of all – Ike’s – though no one can figure why she would want anything from the most useless kid in Grimmery.

6) What is the secret to writing exciting and dangerous villains that are also believable?

Pure evil is boring. Great villains are human: they laugh, they weep, they love their children and help little old ladies across the street, and they care about good things just as much as the hero does. The best villains are conflicted, and sometimes they want the same thing as the hero does; they just want it in a different way.

Or sometimes they’re just plain evil, like the demon Spleen, who specialises in psychological pain. She doesn’t just get inside Ike’s head, she actually puts her head inside his head via another of the planes, to identify his secret terrors and see how to best torment him.

Though, come to think of it, even Spleen loves her little brother, the vile and vicious little guard-imp, Nuckl.

7) Your first chapter is called 'Ike's Bum.' Do you ever get in trouble for using the b-word? (because I sure have!!)

Not as often as I’d like to, snort!

To be honest, I was a bit worried about that kind of thing, being such a demure and retiring fellow that I blush at the sight of a well-turned ankle sock. But then I thought, if Andy Griffiths can write books like Bumageddon and Zombie Bums from Uranus, and even the sainted Tim Winton got away with The Bugalugs Bum Thief, how can I possibly offend anyone with my little tail, er, tale?

The headless highwayman, Lord Monty, a very decent chap, is so sorely afflicted by the lack of a head that he has to talk through his bottom, but how could anyone take offence at that? I mean, he’s so hygienic that he cleans his bum teeth with a gigantic toothbrush. Moreover he’s so noble that we look the other way when he does it; we can’t bear to embarrass him. Yeah, right. Boy does malicious little Nuckl, whose main desire is to eat Ike’s liver, have fun with poor old Monty.

And when the only way for Ike to rescue the pretty but obnoxious Princess Aurora is to squeeze her through that disgusting troll-bum door, do we take advantage? Do we snigger and take pleasure in their grotty, gruesome and grotesque misfortunes?

You bet we do. It’s an ill wind, they say, and especially whistling through a troll bum door. Bums ahoy! 

Thanks, Ian! best of luck with the tour and book sales!

Ian Irvine Bio

Ian Irvine, a marine scientist who has developed some of Australia's national guidelines for the protection of the oceanic environment, has written 27 novels. These include the internationally bestselling Three Worlds fantasy sequence (The View from the Mirror, The Well of Echoes and Song of the Tears), an eco-thriller trilogy and 12 books for children. His latest book is Grim and Grimmer 3: The Desperate Dwarf.

Ian’s website is www.ian-irvine.com
His author site on Facebook is http://www.facebook.com/ianirvine.author

Ian Irvine’s Blog Tour for The Desperate Dwarf

January 15, 2011                     
Ripping Ozzie Reads                 Book Promotion

March 9, 2011                         http://angusandrobertsonedwardstown.blogspot.com/
A&R Edwardstown                  On Writing Children’s Fiction

March 21, 2011                       http://content.boomerangbooks.com.au/kids-book-capers-blog/
Kid’s Book Capers                  Review and giveaway

March 22, 2011                       http://deescribewriting.wordpress.com
Dee Scribe                               Writing Ike’s Character

March 23, 2011                       http://bloggingwithianirvine.blogspot.com/
Our Lady Of Lourdes School   General Writing

March 23, 2011                       http://tristanbancksflow.blogspot.com/
Tristan Banck’s Blog                Creative Process/Workspace

March 24                                 http://www.kids-bookreview.com/
Kid’s Book reviews                  Top 10 Writing Tips

March 28, 2011                       http://www.robyn-campbell.blogspot.com/ 
Robyn Campbell                       About the writing life and this book

March 28, 2011                       http://content.boomerangbooks.com.au/literary-clutter-blog/
George Ivanoff             10 things I enjoyed most about writing this book

March 31, 2011                       http://content.boomerangbooks.com.au/literary-clutter-blog/
George Ivanoff             10 things I found hardest about writing this book

April 6, 2011                            http://dcgreenyarns.blogspot.com/
DC Green                                Where the character and story ideas came from

April 11, 2011                          www.buginabook.com
Bug in a Book


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